Healing Through Creating

So the past few months I’ve been enthralled in production and writing for a new album. The process started before Ella died, and it has taken me and my producer a long time to get it finished. There have been countless times when I wanted to give up, and throw in the towel on these songs and this journey. Every morning I go to the mountain of depression, discouragement, and apathy. Every morning I get out of bed, and put one foot in front of the other. This project has literally been a thousand tiny baby steps for me. A few months ago I had an idea that really inspired me, and has helped me to complete this. I came to the point when I would listen to these songs, and sing them–and I would see them. I would see Ella’s tiny little hands, and see my husbands face…and all of the pain and heartache we have been through. And it donned on me that I need to bring these songs, and this EP to life through film. I think it’s such an important part of my healing journey, and the healing journey for other mothers–who will see themselves in these videos. Grief and loss is so hard sometimes to put into words–people who haven’t been through it don’t understand the extent of the loss. The fact that you had a million hopes and dreams for this child, and they are all dashed to the ground.  I want to show that. I want people to see a mothers grief in an empty room. I want to show a fathers grief in a burnt room. I want to show the child disappearing from a future that will never  be. Thank you for your support. I am in the final hours of this campaign and every little bit will help this dream come to life. Let’s do this for our children.

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