Cussing At You

A series of short journal entries that show me grappling with my faith. I felt like they needed to go together.

 

 

Where is my Shepard, Where is my refuge?

I’m bound for more bad weather

And I’d feel a lot safer if I knew that it was you

The waves came without warning

And I know that I am bordering on defeat and doubt

It’s just before, I never had to go without

If you could find it in your gracious heart

To not only do your part, but mine too

I’ve been told that there is nothing your Love can’t do

Well tonight I’m a drunken sailor

And I’m afraid I’m cussing at you

__________________________

 

Tight rope and we can’t let go

Or we’ll wreck ourselves

And the whole pain will be for naught

Do you exist?

It feels like you don’t

My faith is paper thin

If this is a battle, don’t bet on my win

 

_____________________________

Nothing I do will ever be as important to me as it once was

No, I do not want to go out to dinner and talk about your life

Mine is not alright

They’ll have to forgive my terrible social interactions

I’m not feeling capable of much undeserved compassion

Really, I’m on the search for my new distraction

Throw myself into song

Throw myself into deed

Maybe that is what happens when we are in need

We give that hope and pray that we hold someone else’s

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