Goodbye

Tiny toes, and little elbows

Peace rested on your rosebud mouth

For five months I dreamed and sang to you

But now the autumn has truly come

Thoughtful eyebrows placed perfectly on your delicate face

Your little arms reaching for me

I’m in a day dreamed daze

Four days down since I gave birth

Feels like years ago, and it still hurts

When I held you, I knew you weren’t there

Sounds silly to state the obvious, but I wanted you to know I care

When I carried you, I felt your little life

Your soul had a spark, your heart was a light

I knew after you left something was wrong

My soul was bereft, I felt you were gone

But I couldn’t find the proof

It was as if some one had taken all the air from the room

When we laid you down, I cried I’m not ready

Not ready to say goodbye

And when I kissed your head, and I cried

I’m not ready to say goodbye

And as your Daddy lowered you to your tiny grave

Not even his or my hands could reach out to save

 I still wasn’t ready to say goodbye

Now I sit, and wait to heal, and I cry

Because even if I’m ever ready

I’m afraid I’ll never want to say goodbye

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One thought on “Goodbye

  1. Hi Jetty, I recently found your music and love it! While listening to a song of yours today I wondered if you had experienced the loss of a child. I googled your name and the word loss and found your blog. I hear your words and they resonated with me. My husband and I found out at 20 weeks in April 2009 that our baby boy was most likely not going to live. So in September 2009 when I held him and let him die in my arms… It was the most heart wrenching thing I have ever had to go through! Even though I was told ahead of time, I felt like I grieved twice. I know our situations are different, but I know it hurts, really bad. Know that you are not alone. I will keep you in my prayers for faith and hope and peace during your pregnancy. One thing that really helped me after the loss was counseling. I hope you can continue to heal and experience joy during your current pregnancy. sending prayers!

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